A 60-year-old asked if he could be my boyfriend while I was in Guyana the other day, and yes he was being serious. He has since called me sexy and chubby - the latter is a compliment too... apparently. I told him I have five boyfriends and can't accomodate anymore.
While buying an ice-cream from Demico House, a lovely man uttered the not so lovely phrase: "If you ever wake up one morning and fancy sex, call me!"
Unfortunately I was a little bowled over by him, proceeded to converse with him over tea and ice-cream and foolishly gave him my number. Alas he never called. Not that I was about to take him up on his offer - of course.
Me to driver: "Are you married?"
Driver: "Why, do you find me attractive?"
Me: "Er no, it's just a question"
Driver: "Call me sometime, we can talk. But don't tell anyone."
What is that about??? Yesterday he tried to put a ring on my finger (Beyonce style) and today he said there were many things he'd like to tell me but couldn't. Right.
The drivers here are quite something. Another asked if he too could be my boyfriend. And no, it's not exciting. While he's fairly attractive, he has terrible teeth and has told me that he's not a "work-a-man"... at anything! He also asked if he could bite my nose... in a sexual way. Oh dear.
I met a guy on the street the other day. Again, I stupidly gave him my number, mainly because he has a tattoo by his eye. However I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of text messages including my personal favourite: "Hi babes u r so special to me i need you in my life. If loving u is wrong i don't want to be right. Stay safe"
He now wants to know why he's not hearing from me! I only met him fricking yesterday!
And finally, I get onto the guy from the Halloween party, the only one that I find attractive (apart from the hot tall boy at work who I can no longer talk to since he asked me via msn, within 20 minutes of our first conversation, what the freakiest thing I'd ever done was). After declining his drink's invitations three times - the halloween boy, not the tall boy - I asked him to go for coffee yesterday. He suggested we skip coffee and have sex instead. I was appauled. However after he suggested drinks instead, I said yes. As repayment, here are the comments (not compliments) I received:
"You look much better than last time."
"You should wax off the moustache."
"You're actually quite pretty."
"If you lost weight, you'd be hot."
"When you take of your glasses, your almost shaggable."
"Wow, what a big knee you have."
"I like your arm (aka the bingo wing bit)it's so warm."
And finally after asking him what he's doing for Christmas, he replied "I'd like to do you". Nice.
Now tell me, why do I still find him attractive???
I've also joined Guardian Soulmates for some stupid reason. There are two hotties on there and after exchanging one email a piece, I'm yet to hear back from either.
Conclusion? Men are idiots, no matter where in the world you are.
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